Dear Driver of the Green Subaru Forester, Plate # HG 4935:
I’m not sure why you took such offense to me hitting the horn when you almost sideswiped me at the intersection of Capitol Avenue and Lawrence Street. I rather like my car undamaged by jackasses, thanks.
Kudos on your excellent revenge, though! You really got me with your driving at half the speed limit (15 in a 30) the whole rest of the way up Capitol. And the way you slowed down at traffic lights, hoping they’d go yellow so you could slam on the brakes– priceless! It was really sweet how you would try to anticipate my moves so we could be together longer. When we parted ways at South Highland and Boulevard, I gave you a special goodbye wave. Did you see it? I hope so.
And why yes, that was me taking down your plate number as you again slammed on your brakes to let people make left turns in front of us. Your little friend in the passenger seat did see me as she turned to look 3 times.
Hope the rest of your day is as good as mine!
Here’s to karma getting you in an itching, burning way!
Kisses,
The normally level-headed girl in the silver Civic who was stuck behind you for what felt like 600 miles