Most of the time I’m okay with my diabetes. I don’t remember life before it. Even remembering times from when I was 8 or 9, pre-diagnosis, my mind has rewritten the memories to include injections and testing kits, things that were far from my mind in those days. It’s shown me how strong I can be. It’s given me experiences that few others in my life have had. It’s brought me interesting people to meet, our busted pancreases giving us a common ground to start on to discover other things we might have in common. It’s made me part of something larger, yet so small and close. It’s given me new ways to look at and appreciate life. It’s given me a career goal to struggle toward that I might never have considered if not for this disease.
These are the things I try to remember on days like today. Day 2 of a new workout leading to a new me and I had to throw in the towel halfway through, then undo any good I had done in that half workout by eating 4x what I had burned in cookies and candy, desperate to not pass out in my underwear in the locker room.
Days like today, it’s hard to muster up a positive aspect of diabetes.